What Do I Do When...It Is My Boss?
Next up in the advice center we are looking at what to do when the person that you are in love with is the boss. Is it worth pursuing, and what should you be doing to protect yourself. Keep reading to find out...
Dear Tucumcari Tarot,
Ok, Work Wife in Washington DC, there is so much to unpack here. This is a situation that I have a lot of experience with and since both my marriages started at work, I feel like I can offer some real insight. So where do we start? Let's dive into the first thing - which is workplace relationships in general. In the 1990s 20% of all couples met at work, and while it is down to around 10% now it still happens quite often. When you add in a supervisor component Career Builder has found that 1 in 3 people have dated someone above them in rank.
And the romance novel industry hasn't helped the situation any. When I checked Amazon and the Kindle shop there are more then 30K results for "boss romance" and they run the gamut from fairly sweet and tame boss to lover stories all the way to those that are downright filthy. Here are just a couple of the ones that show up just on the FIRST page of results:
It is completely natural to be attracted to those in positions of power but that doesn't mean acting on it is a good idea. There are a number of things that are a concern and need to be taken into consideration.
1. In most places dating someone of a different rank is a HUGE violation of company policy, and some places also forbid ANY workplace romances.
Nearly all workplaces have what they call a "fraternization" policy. They will outline somewhere in the company handbook what is and isn't allowed, what can happen if the policy is violated. So the first thing you need to do if you haven't already is to get yourself a copy of the handbook and read it REALLY close. DO NOT have any further romantic contact until you know.
2. In addition to wanting to be sure that it isn't a violation of policy it is still worth remembering that we are living in the era of #MeToo
How easy is it to fall into the he said/she said situation any time that a relationship goes south? We see it all the time when our friends go through a breakup or even a divorce. Regardless of what ACTUALLY happens everyone picks a side. It is natural for that to carry over into a workplace. If the relationship goes south, the other person - or even YOU - could be looking down the barrel of a sexual harassment lawsuit. This is enough of a concern that some workplaces that DO allow inter-company relations will require you to sign what is called a "cupid contract". This is essentially a document that you would both sign - these preventative documents include written confirmation from both romantic partners indicating the relationship is voluntary and that the company’s sexual harassment policies are understood.
24 years of tarot experience, 20 years experience as a mom, and a lifetime of knowledge is just rattling around in here!